if Hamlet was from Brooklyn, a soliloquy.
Those who know me know that Billy Shakes is my man. My home fry. My dog.
And because we’re so tight I thought I’d do a remix of this little ditty he once rapped.
It goes like this:
(In the voice of Patrick Stewart, Robert De Niro or Joe Pesci. Your call.)
To believe, or not to believe: That’s the million dollar question:
Is it a better idea to just take
All the shit life throws at you,
Or to strap yourself against a hailstorm of bullshit,
And by saying ‘Fuck That Noise!’ end it?
But then there’s death: the big sleep;
Fucking done; a sleep of sweet release from
Scandalous bitches and every other goddamn pain
That beats on our weak-ass flesh, Man that’s an end
You could wish for religiously.
Yea, good old death, the big sleep;
But maybe not that big: say you start dreamin’: Fuck, now that’s a problem;
Man because whatever those dreams are in that ‘ol death-sleep
That comes after we’ve shucked and jived right outta this petty fuckin’ hustle n’ bustle,
They’re the shit that make you stop and think: And it’s that thinkin’
That fucks shit up in your long-ass life;
I mean, who the fuck would just accept the beatings of time,
The boss’s ass-holery, the contempt of rich fucks,
The bitches that step on your heart, the cops that do fuck all,
The politician’s bullshit and all the other shit
that goes along with dealing with fuckwits,
When a guy could just stab
A bitch? Seriously, who the fuck would put up with that shit,
Working their fingers to the bone no less,
Unless some huge fucking fear of what happens when you die -
That final frontier where once you go
You never come back – was confusing all willpower
And making us just accept the horse shit that we have in life
Instead of flying out into new and unknown circumstance?
That, my friends, is why we are all pussies because of our consciences;
Because conscience is what takes our natural drive for resolution
And royally fucks it up with thinking,
And then all the epic shit that was gonna happen,
through thought the driving forces are all deflated,
And nothing fucking happens… -YOU BITCHES ARE SOFT!
Ophelia baby! Sweetheart, when you pray
you best remember all the gnarly shit I ever did.
